my small family

S is in London right now.
she went last friday and i miss her so much.
so much so so so so so much.
somehow,
it's always stranger and weirder when she goes anywhere.
even if it's for two days to just another city.
this arrangement is not something we're used to.

i'm the one always travelling and coming and going.
when she goes,
it's different.
it's strange.

there is always this fear at the back of my mind "what if she meets someone there?"
strange.

so these days M is responsible for me.
she is always the default when S goes anywhere.
before,
when S went somewhere and M was taking care of me,
she was given a handful of things-to-do.
now she's a pro.

a few posts ago i even said that i will write about M and tell you about her.
i think today i should.

hmmm.

i will.

it all started a few weeks after i had started talking to S on msn and we were exchanging e-mails regularly.
one day i wrote an e-mail to her but my hotmail refused to open.
and then this person logged in and messaged me and introduced herself.
we immediately hit it off and it was great.
there was no awkward this is her friend,
i should be careful with her.
formal with her.
nothing of the sort.
it was an instant bond.

i asked if her hotmail was opening and she said yes.
and then,
i pasted every single word to her on the MSN window,
and she pasted it on to her hotmail,
and sent it to S.

:)
that was our first conversation.

and since that day,
she has been there every step of the way.
every single little step of the way.

we are so alike.
she is my perfect soulmate.

there have been so many times when S has said to me oh my God you and M really need to get married.

she is one of the most genuine people i have ever known.

she has always gone out of her way for almost everyone.
the way that she has done so much for me,
for S,
i can never thank her enough for it.

the best part?

she doesn't even realize what all she does and has done.
she is not looking for a thank you.
she is not looking for acknowledgement.

it all started happening with her after she visited me.
she met me,
and all hell broke loose.
it still does at times.

men followed her everywhere.
they showed her guns.
they've entered her house,
taken her with them,
hit her.
slapped her.
punched her.
kicked her.
asked her all kinds of questions.
called up her father,
making up all kind of crap and telling him..
threatened her..
hacked her e-mails.
her msn.
her computer.
her cell phone.

the reason for that?

they think she's my sister.

the reason for that?

she calls me brother.
i am like a brother to her.
and she is the sister that i never had.
and that is how we are,
and that's the price she pays.

that's the price she pays for coming to see me when she did.
spending time with me.
taking care of me.

she is not even in this,
yet she is the most involved.

people are always following her.
her phone lines are always tapped.
her cell is always traced.

her every move is recorded.
every single move.

she's been through the worst times of her life because of me.
and she doesn't complain.
she doesn't even think "what the fuck?"

she's the best:)
she really is.

she knows S is not around,
and she recently joined college,
which means she's busy most of the times and she gets home late.
but every single day,
the minute she enters her house she calls me to let me know that she's home.

she asks me about my day,
she talks to me.
she makes me laugh.
and i make her cry.

i'm the only man who has ever made her cry.
(i'm selfishly happy about that)

there was a time when i was getting to know S,
and M came to the U.S. and i would call her up and ask her to tell me things about my baby.
and without exaggeration,
she would sit there,
telling me little things and stories about her for hours and hours on end.

i call her at random hours.
that's the fun of calling her and waking her up and talking to her.
the most fun is calling her up at 4am and saying "i'm bored" talk to me,
and she will curse me and hate me and talk to me:)

i love her.
love her.
i'm so possessive about her.
and i love it.

she and my baby are the only family i am left with.

M always says to me that my family and my father will go with you to Ss' house and ask her father for her hand.
you are my family.
you are my brother,
and we'll it all perfect for you:)

her belief.
her faith.
her strength.
her courage.

i admire and i love and i respect her for all that and so much more.

she's is close to God.
in a very non-conventional manner.
i know God listens to her.

He listens to everyone..
but He really listens to her.

things aren't great at all in her house.
she has one of the most messed up families i will ever hear of.
but she's going strong.
she loses it,
but she re-gains it.

it was her faith in God that got me thinking about God.
it's her trust,
her belief.
it's admirable.

she loves me.
she hates me.
but she loves me.

she is simple.
she is genuine.
she is crazy.
she is hilarious.
she is emotional.
she is sensitive.
she is my sister.
she is my brother.
she is my friend.
she is M.