The Sound of Music.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

dream yourself a dream come true.

so valentines was here.
how did i spend it? put it in simple was by far.
the crappiest valentines ever.
not because i didnt have a valentine.

she asked me if ill be her valentine,
and i had the biggest ever smile on my face and i said ofcourse.


so on the 13th we started speaking at 7pm when she got home,
and we talked and we talked and we talked and we talked till 330ish in the morning.
she had work in the morning at 9,
but since it was valentines we spoke all night.

what did we talk about all night?

we almost ended our relationship in the middle.

(what brought that on, as i move along, you will wonder why or how exactly are they still working this relationship.)

then talked our way through it.
i was upset.
she got upset.
i made her cry.
we talked.

realized things.

reminded each other what it means for us to be together.
and the reasons that we have come this far.

i was so upset that i fell sick and i threw up 10 times during all this time that we were talking,
and i could feel fever too.
at 3ish,
my stomach started to hurt,
and i could hardly speak,
and i told her ill call her back i have a bad stomach ache and i cannot speak.

i was so sick i couldnt call her back and i knew she had gone to sleep either way.
i went to the washroom,
threw up,
and my stool had blood in it.
i was rushed to the hospital at 7am.
i was given sedatives and i went to sleep.
when i woke up at 5pm i knew i had to message her somehow and tell her where i am.
i text'd her and told her im at the hospital and will be back home soon and will speak to her in a little while,
and when i switched on the cell phone, i had 6 messages from her, which had started off with a good and happy iloveyou baby,
and the last message said i know you dont even love me anymore.


i got home at 930 maybe 10.
i called her at 1030 maybe 11 at night on valentines day after being away the whole day.

not impressive at all i know.
ya think?

so that was valentines day.


f that shit.
"every day is valentines day for us."

thats what i actually said to her.
those were my exact words.


yes yes i know.

but true.


so that was to catch up on the recent happenings.

to pick up the past from where i left;
so....slowly the whole mum and her friends daughter and other girls situation cooled down.
not as easily as im writing it.

there was a lot of uncomfortable silences.
awkward moments at home.
raging tempers.

something which was so new to my home.

we are 3 people in that house.


us 3 complete our little home.
we are the family.

we never fought.
we never had silent moments.
we never had bad tempers.

we were away from our homeland and family,
and my parents built this tiny family of mine with loads and loads of love.

i grew up watching my parents being so affectionate towards each other,
in the most subtle and sweet way possible.

i took from that.

i am more affectionate and sensitive than most men are.
maybe because i was around my mother most of my childhood,
and...since she always wanted a daughter and never had one,
i got all the daughterly affection,
and the sonly cusses.

i hated that period.
hated it.

i started staying out of the house alot.
as it is, i was out of the house, and i hardly ever came home.
my friends never knew where i was, and there was no way of getting in touch with me.
since that's how it always was with me,
noone even dared to think that i should have a cell phone or a pager,
or something of the sort.

but when i came back from pakistan,
and i was working on my thesis,
i would come home as often as i could.
i was different when i came back,
a nice different.

i realized that i had missed home.

i had missed my mother.
i had missed my father.

i had missed my family.


it took a while for the circumstances to be okay,
and for mum and dad and me to be okay around each other.

it took a long time for things to come back to normal.
and yet.
after that summer, nothing ever became normal.


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