noone knows except the both of us..

( i wrote this blog yesterday but my cable went down. which means that she's coming back tonight! spoke to her last night, and she wasnt doing well at all. my baby is sick :(. i hope she feels better when she wakes up today.)


she's coming back tomorrow. yay!:)
im sooooo happy.
i somehow managed to get past these 4 days. couldnt have done this without my brother. my brother, there is lots and lots and lots to come of my brother, so i wont say anything about that yet. but would like to thank my brother (M) here, without whom these 4 days would have been more miserable and longer than they already were. its always nice to talk to M. we're....one and the same and she hates it at times. most of the times. yes.we have the same annoying habits. and yes, she was friends with my brother first. strange, complicated story, which ill explain later when its time.

coming back to us, our first summer was here.
everything was going great.
perfect.
we're the happiest two people, crazy in love, and nothing can come between us.
and yet, something did.

mum went to visit her friends in L.A. and over there she met her friends daughters and few other girls and really liked them. for me. she called me and then she came back, and discussed it with me, well knowing that there was already someone in my life whom i was serious about. for the first time in my 24 years i. was. serious. i had never come across such a situation before, and i freaked out completely, emailed her, told her everything, and said to her that after reading all this, whatever decision you make, i will be okay with it. we spoke about it (IM ofcourse), got upset. cried.
we were both hurt. we knew what we were being forced to do just wasnt right.
whats right is us.
her and me together.

it was a feeling that we had never felt before.
it was love that we never knew about, and had never experienced before, and knew that we would never feel it again. i knew from the beginning that there was something about this girl.
i dont know, and i still dont know what it is about her, but something that pulls you towards her like a magnet. it is so strong that you cannot turn your face away from it even if you tried.

we didn't say our goodbyes.
we didn't breakup, but i became clearly distant.
i didnt know how to react.

me, a guy who never took a girl seriously. had a girl at all times, but it was always her making the effort, never me.
no commitment.

with her, it was different.
everything was different.
a strange kind of different.
a crazy kind of different.
a scary kind of diferent.

i didnt know what i was feeling, but i knew it felt good.
it felt right.

it gave me happiness that i wasnt aware of.
it gave me a sense of responsibility.

i wanted to take care of her.
i wanted to keep taking care of her.
maybe even for the rest of my life....

she gave me things i never had before.
she gave me love.
she gave me hope.
she gave me faith.
and the best of them all...

she gave me peace.